Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Am I that Friend?

Am I that friend that drops all my emotional baggage on your doorstep and is never around to pick up yours?

I really hope that I am not. However, I have a sinking suspicion that I have been “that” friend who dumps and runs; the friend that is seldom or never there to pick up the pieces when your life falls to pieces or when you have had a bad day and just want to vent.

I know that people have dumped their emotional baggage at my doorstep over the years and then when I have needed them they have not been there for me. However, it does go both ways and I have dumped my share of baggage and lost friends over it.

I know I am a good listener; it is just that sometimes I get totally focussed on what is happening in my life that I forget to ask how you are and how you are doing. Please do not think it is not because I do not care.

Perhaps every now and then we do need to focus on ourselves and what is happening for us (it is our life and we have to live it daily). It means that when friends or family come to us for help or a sympathetic ear we will be better equipped and stronger to be there for them in whatever capacity they need us.

All I can hope is that I am mostly a good friend and that I have learned from earlier mistakes.


  1. I think we all go through phases of either being 'that friend' or being the one who picks up all the cr@p from others. The trick is to make sure there is a reasonable and fair balance between the two. I tend to be the one who goes way too far out of my way to help others and end up getting walked all over in the process. Any tips on how to prevent this (again) in future would be greatly appreciated!

  2. *snap* I am that person too. I think that sometimes we need to appreciate that we cannot help everyone all the time. We cannot always ride in and "save the day" no matter how much we want to. We need to look after our emotional needs. Also if people are going over the same "stuff" over and over again; it probably means they cannot move through it. In this instance it's not doing anyone any good. It's at that point when they probably need a bit of professional help. :)