Friday, August 31, 2012

Upside Down Cardi

I no longer wear a watch but my smartphone is telling me that it is finally Friday!

It was not long into my day that I realised that perhaps a coffee before I left the house would have been advisable.

Picture this. I was killing sometime before a client meeting at 9am and decided to sit at a downtown atrium overlooking the water to have breakfast. I am actually struck by the irony that I would have been in the same place on a Friday night about 10 years ago on the dance floor with a drink (and probably cigarette) in my hand. The café is actually where the old Waterfront nightclub was.

I digress.

So I am sitting there tweeting and contemplating my morning coffee while looking out at the most spectacular day (spring is nearly here) and I thought “this is beautiful”. My breakfast consisted of a flat white, sparkling cranberry and lime and a cranberry, brie and smoked chicken bagel. Are you sensing a wee cranberry theme; no bladder infections here!  Oh that is funny “wee cranberry”!

As I was sipping my drink I realised that the seam of my cardigan was in an odd place so I tried to pull it around. Suddenly, my heart sank and I reached around the back only to find (horror of horrors) that I had put my cardigan on upside down? Seriously, who does that? Leaving the house wearing an UPSIDE DOWN CARDI!!! I could understand inside out, but upside down? I whipped it off and put it on properly ASAP. How could my husband not have told me? Thank goodness I realised before I went to see my client; although she would have just laughed.

Moral of the story is to drink a strong coffee before I leave the house and check my outfit in a long mirror.

The other thing I have realised when clipping the hair off my face is that I can never get both sides to look symmetrical. It drives me crazy!

In other news I have decided that I want to improve at blogging. I have found some excellent new blogs (and books by bloggers) that I cannot wait to read. It made me wonder why these bloggers had such a huge fan base that spans continents and it is because they are interesting, blog regularly, blog about different things and are funny. I am not really sure if I want to start a new blog or just make this one better.

It is Daffodil Day here in New Zealand and you can easily donate by texting DAFFODIL to 2447 for an automatic donation or by giving to the collectors that seem to be on every corner. Go on….you know you want to!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Inside I am screaming

Five weeks ago my life was totally different. I had just turned 37 and was more concerned that people had forgotten my birthday than anything else.

Despite being in my late 30’s I did not really feel like an adult. I actually believed that becoming an adult would happen when we purchased a house and I was forced to think about things like mortgages and interest rates.

I was wrong.

My life has flipped on its axis and I was shoved into becoming (and feeling like) an adult overnight. Things I never thought I would have to think about have became ALL I ever think about. Decisions that I never thought I would have to make are now part of my day.

Inside I am silently screaming at the injustice of the world.

To be honest I just want to have one day where I do not have to answer the question “how are you feeling”.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Writing for release

Spring brings blossoms, new growth and renewal

So much is happening at the moment that I cannot write about because it is just too deeply personal and hard.

I have always found writing to be a release. So I find it hard when I cannot write what is going on. All I am currently trying to do is to live on a day-to-day basis.

Last week was one of the worst weeks of my life. Everything that could possibly go wrong (or happen) did. Then just when you think you cannot take ANYMORE something else would happen. It is no wonder that I could barely keep my eyes open over the weekend. I feel so tired that I just want to sleep and sleep, but sometimes when I try and sleep I cannot because my brain will not stop.

I have to think about things that I never thought I would have to deal with. I have to ask questions that I never thought I would have to ask. I have to be strong during the times when everyone else is stretched to breaking point or not coping.

I cry in private when no one is around to see or hear me. I use humour when underneath my heart is ripped to shreds. I give hugs. I offer words of support. But it just feels like it is not enough. I personally start to fall apart when people offer words of support because it means that everything that is happening is real; it is not some horrible nightmare that I cannot wake up from.

I am so glad that we were able to have a beautiful, relaxing holiday before everything went to shit.

I love my husband, my family, our close friends and our cats. They are amazing and provide the support and love that we need.

New eating plan

So, it is the first day of my new eating plan.

I went to see Lynda from Nutrition for Life on Saturday. It was probably the worst day for me to go as I had, had very little sleep and then was up really early for a garage sale. I could barely keep my eyes open in the appointment.

Anyway, we had a really great talk. We talked about and wrote down some initial goals, weighed in and then discussed my food plan. I had to track my food during the week for 3 days and it was probably the worst 3 days that I could have used….seriously BAD week.

So we wrote down breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, mid-afternoon snack, dinner and evening snacks. The great thing about Lynda is she always gives you a few options to choose from but not so many that you get overwhelmed.

As per normal the key for me is:

Planning – Preparation – Execution

I know so much about health and nutrition and what to eat and what not to eat. But sometimes I just need guidance and to be accountable to someone else.

The problem for me is the huge sugar spikes and excess oestrogen which does not help my PMS symptoms. To help balance things out a bit (in addition to a better diet) I am going to take Clinicians DMI along with multivitamins and fish oil.

I am about three-quarters of the way through my day and it has been pretty good. I did a lot of planning and preparation yesterday and this morning and so far I have had lovely meals and snacks. I have been quite hungry today and have tried to use herbal tea and more water to fill in the gaps. Apparently, my appetite should start to even out a bit in a few days.

I have also realised that I am not willing to consume diet products unless they are healthy and do not contain artificial sweeteners. One thing I will NOT go diet on is yoghurt. I love Collective Dairy yoghurt and it is my one indulgence. The GREAT news is, is that they have just brought out a new range of Skinny Greek Yoghurtin 4 Flavours. The best thing is, is that I still get to have their yoghurt and it is low fat and has no added sugar (stevia is used). Love it! 

Now I just need to get back into exercising about 4-5 times each week!

Monday, August 13, 2012

Boxing Day Photo

Every year my birth family take a Boxing Day photo; it is tradition. Actually, to be fair it is a pretty amazing tradition as it has been wonderful to watch our family grow up and also increase in size.

Nevertheless, I hate it because I always look repulsive in it. My entire family are small and pretty fit and I feel like the fat older sister and struggle every year to make myself look nice for this photo.
It also does not help that I am losing my hair. Now whether this is hormonal, or over washing….I have no idea. I just want to shave it off. Instead I am going to see if I can follow Lauren’s course of action for getting her hair healthy.

I did really well in the first quarter of this year with my exercise and then daylight savings finished and it threw me off kilter. I know that is an excuse and I really should not have stopped exercising.

So I have decided that I need to take some drastic action for the 2012 Boxing Day photo. There are 135 days (19.2 weeks) until the photo.

This afternoon I emailed my old nutritionist Lynda to see if I can come and see her. The main reason that I want to go back is to get my nutrition back on track and also to be accountable to someone other than myself. I actually know what I should and should not be eating, but it is just OUT OF CONTROL.

This is coupled with the fact that there is a lot of heavy emotional stuff going on for me at the moment. I thought that the best way to handle this without having a breakdown is to be as healthy, fit and well-rested as I could be.

The basics:
  • 12 weeks of nutrition consultations
  • Follow Bob Harper’s training schedule for cardio and resistance
  • Start walking at night and on the weekend again
  • No treats or takeaways
I am not going to give up this time because I do not want to start again.