Thursday, February 25, 2010

Simple Things

Simple things in life bring me pleasure, my loving/understanding husband, my beautiful family, our cats, music, roses, sunflowers and my close friends. These are the ones that come to mind instantly.

I am a simple girl, and by simple I do not mean “stupid”. I just want to live a happy life where the little things bring me joy.

Sometimes I cannot always get my words out the way I want them to be heard and people get frustrated or offended. Some people just think I say “dumb” stuff. If you take the time to listen, I will eventually get the words out they way I want them to sound. If you take the time, then I might even add some value.

Tonight I said to my husband that he should read my blog if he really wants to know me. How sad is that. Nevertheless, over the past months I have found the beginnings of my voice again. I have found my voice in writing. Yes, it is not perfect, but it is my voice and with more practise it will get better and finally I will be able to get my words out.

I am not an expert in anything, nor do I claim to be. I am just me, just Ness. I am a wife, mum to our cats, daughter, sister, aunty and friend.

You Make my Heart Hurt

Since joining Twitter I have become more aware of current events. I visit a wider variety of websites to get my news, which is a direct result of people tweeting links to articles and blogs. This has certainly opened my eyes and my mind to both amazing and horrible things.

Over the past few weeks crime in New Zealand seems to have escalated to an unbearable level. I am not sure if it has always been this bad, or whether I had just not noticed it.

Watching or reading the news makes me so sad that my heart hurts. I do it so that I am aware of what is happening, so I never lose sight of how short and fragile life is.

However, the tipping point for me was when there were three animal cruelty cases within a week. Since then we have had numerous assaults, murders, home invasions, rapes and robberies.

This has got me thinking about what the hell is going wrong with our society. Sure we could blame the recession, the politicians, our own personal circumstances, or childhoods etc. But seriously at what point should we start taking some responsibility for our own reactions to what is going on in our lives?

At some point as we grow up we understand the difference from right or wrong; we know that stealing or hurting others is wrong. My beautiful friend Cate wrote an amazing blog about clearing some of the “emotional junk” that is hanging around.

So please, stop blaming your past and live for today and for the future; I know I need to. Good and bad things happen that help shape us and hopefully make us stronger. If you need help, then ask. If you see someone that needs help, then help them if you are able to. Last week a beautiful 14 year old boy stepped in to help a man that was being beaten.

I am not an expert, but I am a person and have my own thoughts, feelings and opinions. I am not religious although I do believe that there is something bigger than humankind. Is there prescribed plan for us? I do not know.

One thing I do believe is that as children we are consciously or unconsciously taught to suppress negative emotions from an early age. Some people then have no normal way of dealing with anger, hatred, jealously etc. I believe we experience both negative and positive emotions; they make us human. If we can identify the negative emotions and work through them rationally, then surely we would be closer to being more well-rounded people. At least I know I would be.

So there are some questions I have:
Is it about tougher penalties?
Is it about identifying potential offenders, and to help them before something horrible happens?
Is mental illness often not recognised and therefore not dealt with?
Do parents need more support networks to help them, and give them guidance?
Is parenting becoming a bit of a lost art?
Have we forgotten how to respect other living beings and their property?
Are drugs and alcohol being more of a way to “forget” pain, or hardship?
Are some people genetically coded to be evil?

I do not know the answers to these questions. Do you?

We do not live in a war zone; and for the most part we are free from hunger or thirst. So remember we live in an extraordinary country, and I am proud to call New Zealand my home.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Emo vs. HappyNess Mash-Up

I often write blogs that are a bit “emo”, and filled with a little bit of angst. For something different, I thought this year I would try and mix the good with the bad.

On Monday 15th at 2.30am my week went downhill when I read something that I was absolutely disgusted by, and it made me so angry I could barely even function. As I write this, I think about all amazing people that I have met this week and this has cancelled out the anger. It has made me realise that life is far too short to hang onto the darkness, when there is so much light and beauty in the world.

This week, I managed to meet quite a few people (face-to-face) from Twitter. I had lunch with an amazing group of intelligent, stunning, amazing women on Friday. We are now going to meet regularly at least once a month. Yesterday, I had breakfast with friends that I have known for at least 8-9 years and their little boy. I then spent the rest of the afternoon/evening with Twitter friends and other new people. Then, this morning I had breakfast with Teena, her husband and their beautiful/funny/intelligent little girl.

Last week I met a New Zealand author who inspired me to want to start writing again, and possibly even try writing a book. Thanks Nalini!!

Since joining Twitter, my life has become enriched with some amazing people, people that I now consider to be friends, confidants and often experts in their field. These are people that I would have never met, had it not been for Twitter. You have made my world better in ways that I cannot even begin to put into words, so thank you.

I have decided to not be scared anymore about meeting new people, and trust that my personality will carry me through. As Miley Cyrus sung “so hard with my girls not around me” and with that in mind I am going to stop feeling scared, and take a huge leap of faith.

I have decided that it is not what is on the outside that is important, but what is on the inside.

Yes, I can be a bitch, yes I can throw tantrums, yes I can be overly emotional, yes I do not forgive easily, yes I do not always say what or how I feel and yes I can hang onto things past their use-by date.

Nevertheless, I trust easily, I open my heart and our home to our friends. I give when I can, and give hugs to try and make it better. I try and listen when my friends speak and offer words of support. I love and cherish my friends, and will try and stand with them against the world. If you hurt my friends, you are effectively hurting me.

I may be obese, but that has no bearing on the person that I am inside. My weight may offend you, and you may feel the need to tell me so, but remember that I can always change my appearance, but you, you will never get rid of your internal ugliness. So the next time that you feel the need to say something about another person’s appearance, why don’t you stop and think about who they are on the inside. If you cannot, then I feel sad for you.

So a quote:
A diamond is still a diamond, even when it’s not set into an expensive ring and admired on someone’s finger”. C.M.O