Pushing Myself

The dreaded stairs that I walk down and then have to walk back up. They mostly kill me but they will get easier.

I have decided not to really make many promises to myself but rather to just do it.

There are some things that I have done in the last month that I am super proud of.

• Body combat class for 3 consecutive weekends
• Week 1 – body combat followed by body balance; lying in bed on Sunday I thought to myself “why are my oblique’s sore” and then I remembered
• Week 2 – just body combat
• Week 3 – 20 minutes on the treadmill, body combat and then pump; crazy what my body is capable of!
• The nicest thing about combat on Sunday was the instructor actually high-fived me and said I was awesome
• Went to the gym before work
• Started walking at night again; I wish I had never stopped

On Saturday I did what felt like a bloody boot camp workout at my parents searching the dense bush on their property for the neighbours missing (and presumed deceased) cat. It was steep, muddy, slippery, gross, raining and cold. I actually had to pull myself up using native vines and trees and actually used the vines to kind of swing down the muddy bits. Oh and no sign of the cat. #Sad.

I have been reading Leah and Allie’s blogs for inspiration and motivation. Allie is amazing and she always checks in if I am not tracking my food etc. on #MyFitnessPal. I got some amazing new songs to work out to from one of Leah’s blogs.

DJ Fresh ~ Hot Right Now (feat. Rita Ora)

DJ Fresh ~ Louder

DJ Fresh ~ Gold Dust

And my own inclusions:

Carly Rae Jepsen & Owl City ~ Good Time

Carly Rae Jepsen ~ This Kiss

I have an amazing supportive network of friends on a closed ‘secret squirrel’ Facebook group that are really on track with their own journeys.

Then there is my friend Julia who has had an amazing year with her nutrition and exercise despite her own health concerns. Her ideas, positive outlook and commitment despite obstacles are an inspiration.

Lynda from ‘Nutrition for Life’ has provided support and extra tools to help me find my way again.

Lastly, huge thanks have to go to Penny and Anjuli who do not let me get away with any shit or excuses. Penny has totally gotten me to push myself outside my comfort zone at the gym and encouraged me to get back into resistance/strength training.  Her enthusiasm for exercise (and gadgets) is contagious.

And thanks to Anjuli for keeping it real and being brutally honest with me whether I wanted to hear it or not. The motivational emails/quotes/Pinterest boards/healthy snack ideas are always welcome and enlightening. Anjuli is the reason that I made a food and exercise plan for the week and I am sticking to it. Actually, I am too scared not to stick to it. I cannot miss it as it is on my wall at work and on the fridge at home.

What I have realised:

I need to get some walking events into my calendar as I only have the Auckland Quarter Marathon on the 28^th October, and the 6km Sculpt in November. Even though it scares the heck out of me I am planning to do the 10km on Motutapu next year.

Starting up walking again is helping me clear my mind and deal with the stress that is in my life at the moment. 

I wish I could run! 

P.S. There are so many woman that inspire me to eat well and exercise.

MsJenB (Jenna) - Runner, surfer.....amazing woman
Claire Huxley - running for a cause
Tara - Dukan Addict, Diver, Photographer, Tattoo Aficionado
Mel - baby catcher, mum, walk-a-holic
Cassie - CrossFit queen
Liz - Geek, bike riding go-getter

 
   

Short and Sweet

I have lots of blogs I want to write, but just do not have the time at the moment. So this is short and sweet just like my cute new haircut.

Yesterday, mum and I went and got our hair cut. I actually had not been to the hairdresser since December 2011. So “yes” Jennifer (our new hairdresser) did tell me off a bit.

I have a love/hate relationship with my hair and do not do much with it. I needed a nice, easy to maintain haircut.

So now I have a lovely new style and a fringe which is great. Jennifer cut some layers into my hair and got rid of a lot of the weight. I am going a bit bald which is really embarrassing so having less weight is awesome.

I think that it was a complete fluke coming across Jennifer. We got a flyer in our mailbox and I put it on the fridge. A few days later mum said “I DESPERATELY” need to get my haircut as it was getting her down and the last hairdresser had done a revolting job with clippers; because obviously my mum is a bloke?! 

Anyway, I made a mum-daughter “date” for the Saturday to go and find a hairdresser. Then I got home and thought “Oh. Em. Gee. I have this flyer on the fridge”, so I emailed Jennifer. She called me back later that evening and was lovely. We made a time for the Sunday and I nervously text mum to let her know. We went along and I realised within about 10 seconds that we had made the best decision ever! Mum was so overjoyed and happy with her beautiful haircut that there were nearly tears and she gave Jennifer a big hug. So happy for her.

I have not got a photo of mum's haircut, but I have one of mine. Aside from looking exhausted…what do you think?

P.S. I got a cute new scarf from my mum as well :)

Upside Down Cardi

I no longer wear a watch but my smartphone is telling me that it is finally Friday!

It was not long into my day that I realised that perhaps a coffee before I left the house would have been advisable.

Picture this. I was killing sometime before a client meeting at 9am and decided to sit at a downtown atrium overlooking the water to have breakfast. I am actually struck by the irony that I would have been in the same place on a Friday night about 10 years ago on the dance floor with a drink (and probably cigarette) in my hand. The café is actually where the old Waterfront nightclub was.

I digress.

So I am sitting there tweeting and contemplating my morning coffee while looking out at the most spectacular day (spring is nearly here) and I thought “this is beautiful”. My breakfast consisted of a flat white, sparkling cranberry and lime and a cranberry, brie and smoked chicken bagel. Are you sensing a wee cranberry theme; no bladder infections here!  Oh that is funny “wee cranberry”!

As I was sipping my drink I realised that the seam of my cardigan was in an odd place so I tried to pull it around. Suddenly, my heart sank and I reached around the back only to find (horror of horrors) that I had put my cardigan on upside down? Seriously, who does that? Leaving the house wearing an UPSIDE DOWN CARDI!!! I could understand inside out, but upside down? I whipped it off and put it on properly ASAP. How could my husband not have told me? Thank goodness I realised before I went to see my client; although she would have just laughed.

Moral of the story is to drink a strong coffee before I leave the house and check my outfit in a long mirror.

The other thing I have realised when clipping the hair off my face is that I can never get both sides to look symmetrical. It drives me crazy!

In other news I have decided that I want to improve at blogging. I have found some excellent new blogs (and books by bloggers) that I cannot wait to read. It made me wonder why these bloggers had such a huge fan base that spans continents and it is because they are interesting, blog regularly, blog about different things and are funny. I am not really sure if I want to start a new blog or just make this one better.

It is Daffodil Day here in New Zealand and you can easily donate by texting DAFFODIL to 2447 for an automatic donation or by giving to the collectors that seem to be on every corner. Go on….you know you want to!

Inside I am screaming

Five weeks ago my life was totally different. I had just turned 37 and was more concerned that people had forgotten my birthday than anything else.

Despite being in my late 30’s I did not really feel like an adult. I actually believed that becoming an adult would happen when we purchased a house and I was forced to think about things like mortgages and interest rates.

I was wrong.

My life has flipped on its axis and I was shoved into becoming (and feeling like) an adult overnight. Things I never thought I would have to think about have became ALL I ever think about. Decisions that I never thought I would have to make are now part of my day.

Inside I am silently screaming at the injustice of the world.

To be honest I just want to have one day where I do not have to answer the question “how are you feeling”.

Writing for release

Spring brings blossoms, new growth and renewal

So much is happening at the moment that I cannot write about because it is just too deeply personal and hard.

I have always found writing to be a release. So I find it hard when I cannot write what is going on. All I am currently trying to do is to live on a day-to-day basis.

Last week was one of the worst weeks of my life. Everything that could possibly go wrong (or happen) did. Then just when you think you cannot take ANYMORE something else would happen. It is no wonder that I could barely keep my eyes open over the weekend. I feel so tired that I just want to sleep and sleep, but sometimes when I try and sleep I cannot because my brain will not stop.

I have to think about things that I never thought I would have to deal with. I have to ask questions that I never thought I would have to ask. I have to be strong during the times when everyone else is stretched to breaking point or not coping.

I cry in private when no one is around to see or hear me. I use humour when underneath my heart is ripped to shreds. I give hugs. I offer words of support. But it just feels like it is not enough. I personally start to fall apart when people offer words of support because it means that everything that is happening is real; it is not some horrible nightmare that I cannot wake up from.

I am so glad that we were able to have a beautiful, relaxing holiday before everything went to shit.

I love my husband, my family, our close friends and our cats. They are amazing and provide the support and love that we need.

New eating plan

 

So, it is the first day of my new eating plan.

I went to see Lynda from Nutrition for Life on Saturday. It was probably the worst day for me to go as I had, had very little sleep and then was up really early for a garage sale. I could barely keep my eyes open in the appointment.

Anyway, we had a really great talk. We talked about and wrote down some initial goals, weighed in and then discussed my food plan. I had to track my food during the week for 3 days and it was probably the worst 3 days that I could have used….seriously BAD week.

So we wrote down breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, mid-afternoon snack, dinner and evening snacks. The great thing about Lynda is she always gives you a few options to choose from but not so many that you get overwhelmed.

As per normal the key for me is:

Planning – Preparation – Execution

I know so much about health and nutrition and what to eat and what not to eat. But sometimes I just need guidance and to be accountable to someone else.

The problem for me is the huge sugar spikes and excess oestrogen which does not help my PMS symptoms. To help balance things out a bit (in addition to a better diet) I am going to take Clinicians DMI along with multivitamins and fish oil.

I am about three-quarters of the way through my day and it has been pretty good. I did a lot of planning and preparation yesterday and this morning and so far I have had lovely meals and snacks. I have been quite hungry today and have tried to use herbal tea and more water to fill in the gaps. Apparently, my appetite should start to even out a bit in a few days.

I have also realised that I am not willing to consume diet products unless they are healthy and do not contain artificial sweeteners. One thing I will NOT go diet on is yoghurt. I love Collective Dairy yoghurt and it is my one indulgence. The GREAT news is, is that they have just brought out a new range of Skinny Greek Yoghurtin 4 Flavours. The best thing is, is that I still get to have their yoghurt and it is low fat and has no added sugar (stevia is used). Love it! 

Now I just need to get back into exercising about 4-5 times each week!

Boxing Day Photo

Every year my birth family take a Boxing Day photo; it is tradition. Actually, to be fair it is a pretty amazing tradition as it has been wonderful to watch our family grow up and also increase in size.

Nevertheless, I hate it because I always look repulsive in it. My entire family are small and pretty fit and I feel like the fat older sister and struggle every year to make myself look nice for this photo.

 

It also does not help that I am losing my hair. Now whether this is hormonal, or over washing….I have no idea. I just want to shave it off. Instead I am going to see if I can follow Lauren’s course of action for getting her hair healthy.

I did really well in the first quarter of this year with my exercise and then daylight savings finished and it threw me off kilter. I know that is an excuse and I really should not have stopped exercising.

So I have decided that I need to take some drastic action for the 2012 Boxing Day photo. There are 135 days (19.2 weeks) until the photo.

This afternoon I emailed my old nutritionist Lynda to see if I can come and see her. The main reason that I want to go back is to get my nutrition back on track and also to be accountable to someone other than myself. I actually know what I should and should not be eating, but it is just OUT OF CONTROL.

This is coupled with the fact that there is a lot of heavy emotional stuff going on for me at the moment. I thought that the best way to handle this without having a breakdown is to be as healthy, fit and well-rested as I could be.

The basics:

• 12 weeks of nutrition consultations
• Follow Bob Harper’s training schedule for cardio and resistance
• Start walking at night and on the weekend again
• No treats or takeaways

I am not going to give up this time because I do not want to start again.