Creativity or lack thereof

At the beginning of 2010 I found myself wondering if there was something missing from my life.

As 2010 flies past, I have realised that “creativity” is missing from my life. Since joining Twitter, I have come across more and more amazing, talented and creative individuals.

Unfortunately, I seem to be “kind of” good at a few things, but I do not seem to excel in any one thing.

Baking
I love to bake, and feel that this would be an easy skill to improve and provide an amazing creative outlet. I bake for people that I love and care about to bring joy and happiness to their lives.

Painting/ArtI did painting and art until 5th Form, but I was always decidedly “average” so I gave up. I think I will leave the painting to Mark.

Photography
I did a photography night course when was in high school, but never finished it. I love photography and am now surrounded by incredibly, gifted photographers. Photography is definitely something that I would like to develop as a creative outlet and enjoyable hobby.

Music/Singing
I had piano lessons and I think my mother would have loved for me to continue these through high school. I never really got any better because I never practiced. I do love music, just not played by me. My crazy attempts at Singstar and Rockband do not even come close to singers that I love, but it is fun!

Sewing
I tried sewing through high school, but always found “finishing” the garment hard. I wish I could sew, and I am sure if I applied myself I probably could. One of my goals is to help my mum finish the quilt she started when I was born....34.5 years ago!

Speech and Drama
I did speech and drama through my early primary years, and actually really enjoyed this. Perhaps Toastmasters would be an interesting option?

Writing
I love writing and am seriously considering writing a book. Very inspired by @amerrylife’s eBook; this is something I would consider doing. However, I need to up my writing skills up a few notches.

My aim going forward: choose 3 things and start to seriously up-skill myself and learn from my creative friends.

1. Writing - write blogs more often and look at grammar. Inspired by: @cateowen @josiecampbell
2. Photography - get a better camera and go out on fun shoots with friends. Huge love to: @velofille @stockhausens @omakiwi @shotbyrobins @jaysonkingsbeer @jasminestar @MegPerotti @tahniaroberts love your work
3. Baking - Start baking different recipes and play with icing on cup cakes

What is your creative outlet?

Some words should never be used in jest

I did not know you, but I know your mum, your brother and your sister. I feel their sense of loss with you gone. Somehow your family managed to pick up the shattered pieces of their life to keep living without you here.

I love your mother so much, and in some ways I think I do know you. You were only a few months younger than me, and you had only just started your life when it was so cruelly taken away. I think of you often and cannot begin to conceive the loss of a daughter, a sister or a friend.
To the monster that brutally attacked and killed you, I have no sympathy for you. I do not care what happened in your childhood that may have led you down this path to destroy lives and families. You broke my beautiful friend and shattered her heart; and you caused many families so much grief and sadness. You took lives that were not yours to take; you had no right.

So if you make light of using the word “rape” or use it in jest, then you disgust me. If you or your family or your friends have never experienced rape then that is a blessing. However, why not spare a thought for the victims of rape and what they may feel when they see or hear that word used as a joke.

I am no longer going to talk or worry....

I have made a decision this morning. I am no longer going to talk or worry about the people that do not like me, or that I do not like. I am going to focus on growing friendships with the people who I know and love.

I am a pretty open and honest person, and if you want to know something about me then just ask. If you still do not like me, then we both just need to move on.

I think that perhaps I have been living in a bit of a dreamlike world where everyone gets along. What I have come to realise is that we are all different, and some people get on well and others do not.

I think that being an adult is about being able to be friends with different people, even if those friends do not get on themselves.

What have I learnt?
- sometimes it is not all about me and sometimes it is
- sometimes I am not the one with the problem and sometimes I am
- dispel rumours with the people involved with a good face-to-face chat and do not just "unfriend or unfollow"
- leave the gossip, bullying and bitchiness in your teens and be an adult

What have you learnt?

Know your Neighbour(s)

Remember when you knew your neighbours? I do.

Growing up my parents were good friends with our neighbours. I counted these people as “honorary” grandparents and we spent a great deal of time with them. My mum would often have a few drinks with Barby who lived next door, and they would share the highs and lows from their day. In essence we formed a little community of neighbours who became friends, and part of our lives.

I believe that knowing your neighbours helps build a sense of community, and perhaps this is something that we have lost as our lives get busier, and as we move around more.

Do not get me wrong, “neighbour” relationships (like any relationships) can be tricky things and often based on a thin line between love and hate. Nevertheless, I personally think it is so important that you at least know your neighbours in case of an emergency and to offer a friendly wave or greeting. If a friendly wave or greeting then grows further into a friendship; fantastic!

I am not that creative, and really all I can do is write and bake. When I bake, I bake with love in my heart. So, last Christmas I decided that I would bake for our direct neighbours as part of what I consider “Christmas spirit”. It was also a way to introduce ourselves to them, so if they ever needed something or help they would at least know who we were.

On Sunday the gentleman that lives across the road from us was taken away by ambulance. He has terminal cancer and lives alone. He has some amazing friends that live 2 doors up, and also a friend that checks on him regularly. It appears that someone noticed something amiss and got in touch with his friend who went to check on him. It turns out that he not only had a heart attack, but had a stroke as well. I feel gutted that he might have lain there for hours needing medical assistance and all the while life continued around him.

So if you take one thing from this blog post, then perhaps a wave or a friendly hello to your neighbours might be the beginning of something amazing. At the very least you may end up knowing your neighbours should you ever need help.

For me it has made me realise that life is so short, and elderly people who live on their own are particularly vulnerable.

Simple Things

Simple things in life bring me pleasure, my loving/understanding husband, my beautiful family, our cats, music, roses, sunflowers and my close friends. These are the ones that come to mind instantly.

I am a simple girl, and by simple I do not mean “stupid”. I just want to live a happy life where the little things bring me joy.

Sometimes I cannot always get my words out the way I want them to be heard and people get frustrated or offended. Some people just think I say “dumb” stuff. If you take the time to listen, I will eventually get the words out they way I want them to sound. If you take the time, then I might even add some value.

Tonight I said to my husband that he should read my blog if he really wants to know me. How sad is that. Nevertheless, over the past months I have found the beginnings of my voice again. I have found my voice in writing. Yes, it is not perfect, but it is my voice and with more practise it will get better and finally I will be able to get my words out.

I am not an expert in anything, nor do I claim to be. I am just me, just Ness. I am a wife, mum to our cats, daughter, sister, aunty and friend.

You Make my Heart Hurt

Since joining Twitter I have become more aware of current events. I visit a wider variety of websites to get my news, which is a direct result of people tweeting links to articles and blogs. This has certainly opened my eyes and my mind to both amazing and horrible things.

Over the past few weeks crime in New Zealand seems to have escalated to an unbearable level. I am not sure if it has always been this bad, or whether I had just not noticed it.

Watching or reading the news makes me so sad that my heart hurts. I do it so that I am aware of what is happening, so I never lose sight of how short and fragile life is.

However, the tipping point for me was when there were three animal cruelty cases within a week. Since then we have had numerous assaults, murders, home invasions, rapes and robberies.

This has got me thinking about what the hell is going wrong with our society. Sure we could blame the recession, the politicians, our own personal circumstances, or childhoods etc. But seriously at what point should we start taking some responsibility for our own reactions to what is going on in our lives?

At some point as we grow up we understand the difference from right or wrong; we know that stealing or hurting others is wrong. My beautiful friend Cate wrote an amazing blog about clearing some of the “emotional junk” that is hanging around.

So please, stop blaming your past and live for today and for the future; I know I need to. Good and bad things happen that help shape us and hopefully make us stronger. If you need help, then ask. If you see someone that needs help, then help them if you are able to. Last week a beautiful 14 year old boy stepped in to help a man that was being beaten.

I am not an expert, but I am a person and have my own thoughts, feelings and opinions. I am not religious although I do believe that there is something bigger than humankind. Is there prescribed plan for us? I do not know.

One thing I do believe is that as children we are consciously or unconsciously taught to suppress negative emotions from an early age. Some people then have no normal way of dealing with anger, hatred, jealously etc. I believe we experience both negative and positive emotions; they make us human. If we can identify the negative emotions and work through them rationally, then surely we would be closer to being more well-rounded people. At least I know I would be.

So there are some questions I have:
Is it about tougher penalties?
Is it about identifying potential offenders, and to help them before something horrible happens?
Is mental illness often not recognised and therefore not dealt with?
Do parents need more support networks to help them, and give them guidance?
Is parenting becoming a bit of a lost art?
Have we forgotten how to respect other living beings and their property?
Are drugs and alcohol being more of a way to “forget” pain, or hardship?
Are some people genetically coded to be evil?

I do not know the answers to these questions. Do you?

We do not live in a war zone; and for the most part we are free from hunger or thirst. So remember we live in an extraordinary country, and I am proud to call New Zealand my home.

Emo vs. HappyNess Mash-Up

I often write blogs that are a bit “emo”, and filled with a little bit of angst. For something different, I thought this year I would try and mix the good with the bad.

On Monday 15th at 2.30am my week went downhill when I read something that I was absolutely disgusted by, and it made me so angry I could barely even function. As I write this, I think about all amazing people that I have met this week and this has cancelled out the anger. It has made me realise that life is far too short to hang onto the darkness, when there is so much light and beauty in the world.

This week, I managed to meet quite a few people (face-to-face) from Twitter. I had lunch with an amazing group of intelligent, stunning, amazing women on Friday. We are now going to meet regularly at least once a month. Yesterday, I had breakfast with friends that I have known for at least 8-9 years and their little boy. I then spent the rest of the afternoon/evening with Twitter friends and other new people. Then, this morning I had breakfast with Teena, her husband and their beautiful/funny/intelligent little girl.

Last week I met a New Zealand author who inspired me to want to start writing again, and possibly even try writing a book. Thanks Nalini!!

Since joining Twitter, my life has become enriched with some amazing people, people that I now consider to be friends, confidants and often experts in their field. These are people that I would have never met, had it not been for Twitter. You have made my world better in ways that I cannot even begin to put into words, so thank you.

I have decided to not be scared anymore about meeting new people, and trust that my personality will carry me through. As Miley Cyrus sung “so hard with my girls not around me” and with that in mind I am going to stop feeling scared, and take a huge leap of faith.

I have decided that it is not what is on the outside that is important, but what is on the inside.

Yes, I can be a bitch, yes I can throw tantrums, yes I can be overly emotional, yes I do not forgive easily, yes I do not always say what or how I feel and yes I can hang onto things past their use-by date.

Nevertheless, I trust easily, I open my heart and our home to our friends. I give when I can, and give hugs to try and make it better. I try and listen when my friends speak and offer words of support. I love and cherish my friends, and will try and stand with them against the world. If you hurt my friends, you are effectively hurting me.

I may be obese, but that has no bearing on the person that I am inside. My weight may offend you, and you may feel the need to tell me so, but remember that I can always change my appearance, but you, you will never get rid of your internal ugliness. So the next time that you feel the need to say something about another person’s appearance, why don’t you stop and think about who they are on the inside. If you cannot, then I feel sad for you.

So a quote:
“A diamond is still a diamond, even when it’s not set into an expensive ring and admired on someone’s finger”. C.M.O