English Language

While I am not the best person at using proper English Grammar, I believe that I am still better than some people.

The two things that drive me fucking crazy are misspelling words by using a different letter as a substitute i.e. Rulez instead of Rules! Also, shortening words so much that you cannot decipher what they are or mean.

However, the one thing that makes me want to smash my head into a brick wall is the use of the word guttered or guttering to describe something.

“I was guttered that I could not go to Adele” or “it was guttering that I could not go to Adele”.

Seriously people, wake the fuck up.

Guttering is along the edge of your roof. Guttered apparently is a word and it means ‘very drunk’. So, neither word should be used to describe how upset you are about not being able to do something.

Please use words properly.

Cat Curfew

Something that has really made me angry this week is the Waikato SPCA pushing a cat curfew idea to curb cats mating.

I certainly do not want to diminish the amazing work that SPCA do in New Zealand, but seriously pushing a cat curfew at night to stop reproducing? What the HELL?! I am all for cats being kept in at night to stop them from being run over etc.; but sometimes that is not always possible.

HOWEVER, the only thing that is going to stop cats reproducing is mandatory desexing. It is ridiculous to think that keeping cats in at night is going to stop them from mating because they obviously only mate at night. DUH!

I have been involved in cat rescue for over 5 years now and one of my closest friends has been doing cat rescue for well over 20 years. Her main focus is rescuing and desexing cats. Unfortunately, when the breeding season rolls around every year it seems like her massive efforts have made no difference to the 1000’s of unwanted kittens that are born both in the wild and to people’s cats that are not desexed.

One thing that always comes up about cats is the fact that they kill native birds and that they should be culled etc. To be honest, I expect that the loss of native bird life in certain areas is often more to do with changes to their habitat vs. cats. I am not naïve and I know that cats do kill birds from time-to-time; but I am sure that they are not the only problem. Let’s think about the rat population as well.

I have had cats all my life. I grew up in Titirangi which is inundated by Ducks, native Pigeons, Tui etc. Seldom did our cats ever kill native birds...actually I can only recall it happening once. Our cats have always been desexed and the only one that ever had kittens was because the vet told us she was a boy. So I know cats very well.

What do I think will make a difference to the number of stray/unwanted cats in New Zealand:

• Mandatory desexing, no ifs, no buts, no maybes
• ALL cats that are re-homed privately, through breeders, pet shops etc. are desexed
• Cats are microchipped and possibly registered
• Cat colonies are managed correctly with all new additions checked, desexed and have their ears tagged. I have seen how well properly managed colonies work with regular feeding etc.
• If your cat does have kittens then you are solely responsible for desexing her and her kittens before they are re-homed; then at least you can halt the breeding

I helped our rescue cat Max write a blog a few years ago about desexing. You can read that here.  

So what do we need to do in New Zealand to start the process towards mandatory desexing and tighter regulation of pet shops, private sellers and breeders?

10 Things I Hate About You

I am going to choose to believe that I was not wrong about you and that my instinct was right.

If I do not choose to believe these things; then the time that I knew you would have been a horrible lie and a waste.

I loved you so very much. I loved you without reservation. I loved you without limits. You were my favourite.

So even though I hate you so much there are times when I miss you and hate that you are no longer part of my life.

The worst thing is that there are the constant reminders of you in my life. The line in Rihanna’s song ‘Cheers to that’ - “oh let the Jameson sink in” reminds me of you and your friends. Every time I hear a Pit Bull song I remember you because you hate his music. Then there are the photos.

1. I hate you for making me love you
2. I hate you for the absolute fucking destruction you have caused
3. I hate that I cannot tell you how I feel because it is not my place and that you will never read this post
4. I hate that I will never see you again
5. I hate that we do not live in the same country so you will never experience the true force of my anger
6. I hate you because you are not the person I thought you were
7. I hate that you were not strong enough to fight for love and for family
8. I hate you for being spineless
9. I hate you for not facing your own demons in order to heal yourself and be the man you were destined to be
10. But most of all I hate you for hurting someone that loves you so damn much and would have done anything for you. Someone who when you were together it seemed to the rest of us that nothing could ever break you apart

You have not only lost an amazing person, but you lost people who loved you without reservation. You left a trail of utter emotional and financial carnage without a backward glance.

Yes, mistakes were made on both sides. But you know what? She needed a strong person. A person that would let her have her way but also knew when to tell her to pull her head in if she was being a drama queen. She needed a person to pick her up and dust her off if she had a bad day or missed her family. In return she would have given you the world (and more) and all of herself; completely, utterly, without reservation.

At the end of the day you were not strong enough.

The Night where Ness got called a Dipstick

Last night I got called a 'dipstick' on Twitter by someone I do not know because apparently I should have checked my facts before “mouthing off”.  

The irony is, is that a lot of New Zealanders (including journalists, radio broadcasters and even an All Black; not part of the RWC squad) spoke up at their frustrating that a particular TV network did not show the live presentation of the 100^th test match cap to Mils Muliaina after last night’s RWC match.

Instead we ended up watching some post-match analysis and interviews. I guess I was confused (along with others) as we had watched the full presentation to McCaw of his cap by Jock Hobbs.  So what was different in this instance? Or did I miss something?

So after a bit of digging on the net I now realise that the TV network was under particular obligations for post-match interviews at the same time as the presentation was taking place. You can read the article on Stuff here plus all the assorted comments. Nevertheless, if this was the case then why not start the presentation straight after the post-match interviews?? Okay, after watching the bit from Campbell Live I understand a bit more about the "world feed"; how they decided the world would not want to see a brief capping ceremony is beyond me. But there you go.

What I actually resent is being told off in a public forum for a tweet on my personal twitter page which simply reflected what a lot of New Zealanders were already thinking. To be honest if other New Zealanders, journalists and even rugby players themselves commented about it publicaly on Twitter etc.…then surely there are a lot of people that have not checked “their facts” or were confused about what had occured and why.

So ultimately, I might be a dipstick but at least I know that I was not alone in expressing my disgust. By the way…at least my team is still in the contest. #JustSayin'

P.S. I certainly think that the TV network in question have their big boy panties on and can defend themselves against people's opinions.

Dogs and Cats

I think it is fairly obvious that I am an animal lover from the pictures I post of our cats and the volunteer work that I have done with cats over the past 5 years.

Normally, I try not to read animal stories as they just make me upset. However, sometimes I think it is important to read them so that I can get angry and spur myself into action.

First, there was the story of the man in Glenfield having dead cats in his freezers and also numerous cats living in disgusting conditions. He claims he is an animal lover. I claim that he is a cat hoarder and while he thinks he is “doing right” by these animals, he is being more cruel by keeping many in cages surrounded by their own excrement and others that were sick etc. Apparently, there were complaints made nearly a year ago but nothing was done. Why?

Secondly, I read the story about the two dogs that were killed by a “cross breed” dog. Once again the blame game is happening and unfortunately it would appear that the dog is getting the lion-share of the blame. I feel absolutely gutted for the two dogs that were killed and their owners; I cannot even imagine how terrible it would be and how helpless they felt. I feel angry at the owner of the other dog; she should have had it leashed and it would appear that she did nothing that would suggest she was apologetic for the situation. This to me speaks VOLUMES about the situation. Once again the dog is going to get the blame when it is obvious that the owner also needs to take responsibility for her actions and potentially the lack of training and discipline. She even kicked her dog. Seriously?!

I have to insert a disclaimer here…while we had dogs when I was younger I do not know dogs as well as I know cats. But I do have some thoughts…

There seem to be more and more attacks by dogs and calls to ban particular breeds of dogs. I noticed some comments on the Paw Justice Facebook page yesterday about people that do own larger dogs and cross breeds i.e. pit-bull/bull mastiff and have no issues at all. It would seem that these dogs have been raised by owners that know how to raise a dog the right way. I have read more and more blogs written by Ashley Owen Hill who founded Lucky Dog Rescue in the US. Here is her latest blog about bait dogs. After reading numerous blogs by Ashley, I am beginning to doubt whether viciousness in dogs isn’t so much about the “breed” of the dog, but more that care (and time) has not been taken to train and raise the dog. There are instances where badly treated dogs still want to be loved by their abusers….actually they just want love.

As dog attacks become more prevalent in NZ it is evident that some things need to change radically and very soon. So, while I do appreciate that all dogs in NZ need to be registered, I think that better checks need to be in place to ensure that dogs are not just going to owners with no experience with dogs. Or at least get people to go on mandatory dog training courses. Also, the public should not feel afraid to report owners who may not be doing “right” by their dog/s.

I have a huge issue with free animals on Trade Me. They have tightened their controls over the sale of live animals, but I still think that many traders go unchecked. I am sure that many pets go to loving homes, but there are still those that probably do not. Again, it comes back to my belief that no animal should be re-homed without being desexed first and if you have to get the new owner to cover that cost then so be it. If you let your animal have a litter of puppies, kittens etc. then it’s your responsibility to stop the breeding cycle and then get your own pet desexed especially if you are selling them to people that you do not know.

A few years ago I removed 2 female cats and about 11 kittens from a family as they had to move and could not take them with them. Apparently, letting these two cats get pregnant was their “thing” to do at Christmas. These female cats had never had a life of their own and had, had multiple litters. It was just not fair on them. Then this family just re-homed them to whomever. At the end of the day there are so many deserving animals that need a home so why add more.

What is the answer?

Music I Want and Cannot Get

A few months ago I heard Natasha Bedingfield’s song ‘Strip Me’ at the end of a movie. I loved it and raced to my iTunes account to download it. Unfortunately, that song and album ARE NOT available in New Zealand. Not impressed. I have requested it from the library to see if I like it enough to buy the whole album. I am still waiting for the CD. I was a bit annoyed, as I buy 90% of my music through iTunes and the rest on CD. I just wanted 1 flipping song!

I had forgotten about the Bedingfield saga until last night. I was watching ‘Drop Dead Diva’ on DVD and there were a couple of songs played in the background by an artist called Jessie James. She is an American Country-Pop singer and I loved her songs ‘My Cowboy’ and ‘Blue Jeans’. I raced to iTunes only to find that she has one song available in New Zealand and it is NOT the one that I want.

I was furious. I went to Google and came up with an MP3 version of the album on Amazon. #Excitement!  I added it to my Amazon cart and filled out my address only to have Amazon tell me that MP3 purchases are NOT available to people outside the USA.

Potentially I can use my sister’s Amazon account (she lived in NYC) or her Australian or US iTunes accounts. However, it still does not solve the problem that most people would not have this option available to them.

So what the hell do I do? I cannot get my music the way that I want and if I order it on CD it’s going to take a few weeks to get here. I am all about instant gratification re: music so I am really angry as I want the songs NOW!

I love you iTunes but NOT when you limit what I can buy because of the country where I live I hate your guts!

On a side note…Lisa wrote a good blog about NZ TV networks and piracy. Many people have had enough in little ‘ol New Zealand.

Three Things that Have Almost driven me MAD

Over the past 1-2 years there have been three things that have nearly driven me crazy. They cause me huge peaks of emotion. I feel intense sorrow and then cold fury. I have resisted blogging about them because I have not felt that it was right to write down my feelings, however I believe that in order for me to start to move on to a better place that now is the right time.

The Workplace

This is not about my workplace (I love my job) but the workplace of a friend.

Every time you come to me about your work I can feel my anger start to grow. I want to clap my hands over my ears and scream. I want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon (King Lear reference right there).

Our conversations often start out calm and I listen and try and provide advice and words of support. But then I see the same problems crop up in your day all the time. It pains me to see you struggling with the situation, but I feel I have no more to offer you. Our conversations often end in me getting angry and frustrated and a lot of swearing.

I loathe your employer and your boss (and past boss) to such a degree that I feel I cannot be the supportive person that you need to talk to. I cannot be impartial anymore and just hope that you have the strength to do what is right and move on.

Your last boss was an evil, evil bitch. She did damage to you and I strongly believe she did damage to your potential career growth within the company.

So, I will try and support you a little, but do not expect too much. At the end of the day I feel that the company you work for is horrible and definitely not a healthy place to work. Hopefully, you will come to this realisation and be able to move on.

Unemployment

Disclaimer: I do not have a problem with people that need to receive benefits and this blog is not about bagging people who need them.

A few years ago you were made redundant. Then your partner resigned. I was gobsmacked. In a recession why resign just because your partner was made redundant.

You tried to get jobs and failed. You were not willing to move from the city you lived in to try for work. You only went for jobs in your “sector” and area of expertise, when perhaps you should have broadened your scope a little. Why not even try and find an interim job doing something while you were looking? Oh no…that’s right you were offered an awesome “interim” opportunity by family and did not take it.

You continued to live your life of “luxury” despite not having a job. This just made me ANGRY considering you had been very, very vocal about people/families taking advantage of the welfare system. You flipping hypocritical moron.

When you stayed with us your partner admired our belongings and made comments like “wow I love your XX” and “I cannot wait to get some pots like that”. Seriously, Mark and I have had to work hard to get what little we have. We had second hand stuff for ages, and eventually we were able to replace stuff bit by bit. For the record we do not replace things until they are dead!

You have finally gotten a job, but that has not changed my opinion of you. Eventually, I will probably come around but I will never forget your selfishness and laziness. You took advantage of people that were trying to help you. You did not even really contribute money towards living costs i.e. food, rent etc.

I believe that your selfishness remains. All I have to say to you is “to grow the hell up”. If no one tells you that soon, I may very well find my voice and do the telling.

Only the Lonely

I have a friend who is an only child and she is struggling a bit with what is going on with her parents as they are struggling. Other people tell her that they are there for her, to help, bounce ideas off etc. But she feels that even though there is a support network for her that at the end of the day she is alone and it is ultimately her responsibility. I feel for her as it is breaking her heart and her spirit bit by bit. She has changed in the past few years and is not the bubbly happy person that I know and remember.

It breaks my heart to see her like this. See her effectively shouldering the burden on her own. Perhaps it is the “curse” of the only child. They are just used to dealing with stuff on their own without having to turn to others. 

That is all. Vent over.