Week 15 – w/c Saturday 9th April, 2011

Saturday (09/04/11) ~ Spent some time gazing at my book shelves and writing some blogs on our home computer.

 Sunday (10/04/11) ~ For the first time since September we attended a children’s birthday party. So exciting! It was a space themed party. This appeals to me as I work in ‘Space Management’. These are some monster cookies and alien brownie pops. The photos were taken by Kathryn who is Harrison’s mum! He turned 4!

 Monday (11/04/11) ~ Pretty wedding dress in the window downstairs from work. Love it! We got home to find that Whitey was not so white anymore. It would ‘appear’ that she has been rolling around on the neighbours driveway. Bad cat!

Tuesday (12/04/11) ~ Finally got to meet the stunning, divine, funky Tara. Talked to her while she had her hair cut with Terry. You can click on the link to see her photos from the day.

Wednesday (13/04/11) ~ Crazy, crazy work day. (No photos)

Thursday (14/04/11) ~ A very long day starting with the gym in the morning and then more crazy work stuff and then my dad’s birthday dinner. The birthday dinner was an amazing end to a completely horrific day. Discovered ‘Heart of Flavour’ just around the corner from work; they do the most amazing cakes and handmade chocolates.

Friday (15/04/11) ~ Date night with Mark at Sylvia Park! Dinner at The Coffee Club; I think that Mark thinks I am a nana because I love it there. Went to see Scream4 on the Xtreme screen!

Week 14 – w/c Saturday 2nd April, 2011

Saturday (02/04/11) ~ Freshly made bed and Mark’s home brew!

Sunday (03/04/11) ~ After seeing a tweet from a person about tools that people should have in their bottom draw that included clamps. I just about died when Mark came home with the exact same clamps (but bigger) for his boat building exercise.

Monday (04/04/11) ~ Nearly finished Succubus Shadows; love it (despite the cover looking a little like porn). Pretty window at a secondhand clothing shop in Newmarket. Love it!

Tuesday (05/04/11) ~ Managed to get to the gym in the morning!

Wednesday (06/04/11) ~ I was meant to help Raewyn update her Trade Me Ads…but messages got mixed up #Fail. (No photo)

Thursday (07/04/11) ~ Max asleep in the evening. So cute.

Friday (08/04/11) ~ Very early to a client appointment; so tried some “self-portraits” on iPhone. Not very successful. Had lunch with Wendy and received a beautiful bunch of flowers from Jo at Best Blooms. HAPPY!

Week 13 – w/c Saturday 26th March, 2011

Saturday (26/03/11) ~ I was meant to catch up with a friend but just ended up having a lazy day. Picked up keys from the girls. (No photo)

Sunday (27/03/11) ~ Mark and I had pancakes with my sister, brother-in-law and nephew and then headed up to the Kumeu Markets. In the afternoon I baked with Anne for #CupQuake on Monday.

Monday (28/03/11) ~ CupQuakes all delivered to “sellers” and I received some lovely feedback from people about them. A little alarmed at the big gap in the motorway above Newmarket.

Tuesday (29/03/11) ~ Went to see a client and love the flowery bushes in front of their building.

Wednesday (30/03/11) ~ Caught up with some TV and snapped Daisy asleep…surprise, surprise.

Thursday (31/03/11) ~ Busy morning with an early meeting with a client.

Friday (01/04/11) ~ Tried a fresh fig for the first time. Not that bad.

Week 12 – w/c Saturday 19th March, 2011

 

Saturday (19/03/11) ~ Went to Albany to go shopping and had an amazing lunch with Gracie and Chris.

Sunday (20/03/11) ~ Saying goodbye to my sister Anna as she flies back to Sydney. SadNess.

Monday (21/03/11) ~ Watching TV and chilling out after work. Did not make it to the gym as had a ripper of a headache in the morning.

Tuesday (22/03/11) ~ Went into Milly’s Kitchen to pick up my Trifle Bowl in preparation for Christmas…I know that it is 9 months away. Saw this Cross shaped baking tin…I guess it is for Easter. I was slightly disturbed.

Wednesday (23/03/11) ~ Started taking a women’s multivitamin. Fun times.

Thursday (24/03/11) ~ Banoffee Pie goodness at Delish.

Friday (25/03/11) ~ Training a new user all day. (No photo)

Week 11 – w/c Saturday 12th March, 2011

Saturday (12/03/11) ~ Wedding day…finally. Amazingly stunning day; bride was beautiful. Groom was over the moon.

Sunday (13/03/11) ~ Day of rest and saying goodbye to friends and family #SadPanda (No photo)

Monday (14/03/11) ~ Saying goodbye to more people as they leave. (No photo)

Tuesday (15/03/11) ~ Brother-in-law’s 30th birthday so we had cocktails and went out for dinner. The Pizza Barn in Waipu has the most incredible decorated toilets! Amazing.

Wednesday (16/03/11) ~ Back home to Auckland; very excited to see our babies. (No photo)

Thursday (17/03/11) ~ First day back at work; hard. (No photo)

Friday (18/03/11) ~ Yay it’s nearly the weekend! (No photo)

Week 10 – w/c Saturday 5th March, 2011

Saturday (05/03/11) ~ Spent the day at the Delish Cupcakes Bake Off to raise much needed funds for Christchurch via the Red Cross.

Sunday (06/03/11) ~ We packed up the car and Mark drove me to Waipu for “wedding” week with my sister and family.

Monday (07/03/11) ~ A little hungover from drinks the night before. (No photo)

Tuesday (08/03/11) ~ Went on a mission to Whangarei armed with a list of jobs I managed to “wrestle” off my sister. The first wave of American’s arrived; much fun and frivolity ensued. (No photo)

Wednesday (09/03/11) ~ Mark arrived with my other sister and nephew; nice to see him as I had not seen him since Sunday.

Thursday (10/03/11) ~ A day of fishing with 7 other people. I hate boats, but still managed to have a great time.

Friday (11/03/11) ~ Up early as a lot to do. It was wedding eve and I spent the day racing around doing things for Saturday. Needed some time out later on as people would not stop taking photos; so went downstairs to sort out the table tags. De-thorned 100 roses and the girls made up bouquets and button holes.

Editing my life

After a good friend opened my eyes up earlier this week with a heartfelt email it has made me think a lot about different things. The email was about how this friend has dealt with their own passive-aggressive behaviour over the years and they wanted to share their ways of coping with me. They wanted to help me by sharing their very personal and moving journey in order to help me on my journey in learning to deal with things differently.

What I do know is that learned behaviour that I have employed over many years to protect myself will be hard to “undo”. I am sure that from time to time I will resort to my old learned behaviour. Nevertheless, it is about trying to put new behaviours into my life and deal with my emotions and situations in a better way. I want to be more in control of my actions and words. I have written about passive-aggressive behaviour before so I am not going to talk about it here.

One thing that really stood out in the email was that my friend mentioned that they were afraid of people disliking them. I feel exactly the same. I hate the thought of upsetting people and having them hate me. However, at the end of the day not everyone is going to like me and I am not going to like everyone. People are all different and some gravitate towards others and some do not. A bit like magnets really.

In the past year some of my friendships have ended and I am the first person to admit that there were issues on both sides. I am not perfect, and totally understand my own faults (most of the time). I did not want to upset or hurt people and so I started editing my online life. This is something that I NEVER EVER wanted to do. My online life has always been a place where I have felt more “free” to be Ness. So rather than being honest about things I was doing, or places I had gone, or people I had seen I would keep it quiet. I did not want people to think that I was not spending time with them and then end up upsetting people.

We are all busy; yes some more than others. Yes, there are people that I spend a great deal of time with and others I only see once or twice a year. Last year one of my oldest school friends and I made a pact to catch up more regularly and we saw each other more last year than we probably have in the past 5 years. The key to catching up with people more regularly (in my opinion) is scheduling your next catch up each time you see each other. Sometimes I just get into a routine and am slack with catching up with people that I love and care about. Nevertheless, please remember that most people also fall into similar routines and catch up with other friends, and go to places they enjoy.

I simply cannot do this anymore. I do not want to “edit” my life because of the fear of someone feeling hurt or left out of my life. I do my utmost not to do things that would hurt or upset people, but I do realise that I have done it in the past through my own stupidity or passive-aggressive actions. However, I have been hurt and upset by people as well.

Last year was one of nastiest years I have had for a while. When things really fell apart there were friends that helped me through it and those that either did not give a shit, or that I just hid things from. At the end of the day a good friend is someone that you can trust completely. A good friend is someone that you cannot see for a year and when you do things have not changed between you both.

The only promise I can make is that will try and catch up more regularly with the people I care about.